Anonymous: I'm just sat in my local shop minding my own business and you walk in. I look at you from afar, and I catch your eye's attention. You smile in a really nice way. So yeah a couple of minutes of talking and we're at your place. We head straight for the bathroom, you strip and step into the bath, you grab me and pull me into the water too. You begin to grind all over me. You begin to moan. I reach out to hold you in my arms. But I can't. I have no arms. I can't move. I am a bar of soap.

when i was 7 i ate a bar of soap and pretended i was a squirtle